The Corporate And The Chef
by TryingToGrowUp
Summary: After breaking up with the 'love of their lives', Chandler and Monica meet each other, more like, fight each other, but probably fate has something other planned.
1. Chapter 1

**The One With The Break Ups/ The One With The Outbursts**

 _Could I be anymore dead?_

Chandler let out a reluctant yawn, and realizing everyone noticed, he covered his mouth with both of his hands. He should not be seen with any sign that he is bored at the most important meeting of his life. But he was Chandler, he had to mess everything up somehow.

"Is everything alright, Bing?" Doug 'torturing to death with lame jokes', asked with a voice of concern.

Chandler loosened his tie, "Tie's a bit tight. It's ok, it's ok."

"Well, you better hold it up. No woman will ever grab your 'tie' that tight."

The whole staff laughed, including Chandler himself, while he was struggling not to come up with any sarcastic counter remark. _Dear God. Please let me out of the meeting. Please_. He prayed silently. He decided to think about other stuffs, like Kathy. _Mmm_ , _Kathy_. He could swear Kathy was the best thing that happened in his life. He wasn't afraid of the thought that Kathy would stick around for a long time. It was a good thing Phoebe introduced him to her.

Good lord. Phoebe.

Phoebe was his roommate whose birthday was today. And she had asked Chandler to come fast to help her for the little party she arranged. He messed it up in 3 different ways.

i. He was late for the party.

ii. He was in charge of hiring catering services.

iii. He forgot to buy her a gift.

 _Stupid Muriel Bing! Could this day get anymore worse?_

Chandler felt like he would have to sit straight there for eternity until the meeting finally ended. He left the office as soon as he could.

He literally ran. "Gift shop, gift shop, gift shop, gift shop-" he kept telling himself while running. As he pushed away at least 35 people while trying to break the record of Usain Bolt, he found a gift shop. Pushing the door open, he entered, wondering what Phoebe might like. She's his best friend, his only family here in the big city. And he let her down in three friggin' ways on her birthday. On her birthday-

 _Oh no. No._

The man who was previously holding a crystal duck, reacted to Chandler's bumping into him, resulting in the crystal duck falling down and breaking into pieces.

"NOOOOOO!" The raven haired man yelled out while the store clerk rushed to him. Chandler said, "I am so sorry!"

"You gotta pay for this!" The man spoke in a weird nasal voice that creeped him out, as it reminded him of Janice. Taking a deep breath, he yielded to fate. _ **By running out of the store.**_

"Come back here, you!" He heard the man yelling from his behind, "Pay for the duck!"

Chandler yelled with all his might, "Taxi!" Hopefully one taxi stopped and he crawled into it, loosening his tie a bit and said, "5 Morton Street."

The man still came behind him, yelling something which was inaudible until the store staff dragged him inside. He let out a sigh of relief.

Paying the fare, he waited near the elevator, only to realize that it was out of order. He rushed to the stairs, climbed up, and was just pushing the door of his apartment, when he remembered that he forgot food. He forgot the effin' food. _Score, Chandler Bing._

"Hey there," He pointed at Phoebe who had a worried expression on her face, "Happy birthday, birthday girl."

"Chandler." She hugged him, "Are you okay?"

"Depends." He smiled, "Like if you hit me when you get to know that we have no 'buffet' on a Buffay party, I won't be."

She still looked worried, "Uh- it's okay."

"It's okay?" Chandler widened his eyes, "Wait- where are the people?"

"They left. Without eating." She shrugged, "It's okay, Chandler. Just sit down and relax for a while. Do you want a massage?"

"For free?" Chandler said, "What's going on? Wait. What's that noise?"

He heard someone moan from his room. "What!" He yelled and walked to the room.

"Chandler, no!" Phoebe tried to stop him, but it was too late. He walked out, breathing loud, his eyes filled wide, expression of shock.

"Is that..." He paused, as if he hadn't wanted to say anything, "Kathy?"

"Chandler." Phoebe held his shoulders.

Just then Kathy, wearing one of Chandler's robes, came out, having a worried look.

"I am so sorry, Chandler, that you had to find about it this way." She said.

"You are sorry?" He said, pointing at the semi naked man coming out of his room, "You were having sex with him... **IN MY OWN ROOM! ON MY OWN BED!** " He outburst and said to Phoebe, "And you let them?"

"Hey, calm down." Phoebe said, "Things were out of my control. Well, don't just stand there Kathy, say something!"

"Look, Chandler, I wanted to break up with you for a very long time. And Nick's an amazing guy." Kathy said.

"You wanted to break up? Why!" Chandler shouted.

"You suck in bed, okay? You suck. And by that I mean you're bad. You can never satisfy a woman."

"I'll just go take a walk-" Phoebe snorted, "Or a dog to walk. Or- I am outta here!" She walked out.

Chandler said, "I can never satisfy a woman? So were all those times fake?"

"Duh, I am an actor!" Kathy shrugged, "Oh, and FYI, I am sick of your jokes all the time."

"But-" He uttered, when Kathy said, "And you're the worst thing that happened to me. Goodbye, Chandler."

"But you're taking my robe-" He struggled to say as he saw her leaving with Nick, "Never mind."

Phoebe entered soon and saw him just standing there, awestruck of the event that occurred. She sighed, "I wanted you to walk on them doing it. You should have known what a bitch you dated."

"Now my bed will mock me. _Ooh here comes the guy who couldn't keep his girlfriend. The other guy did it so much better!"_ Chandler said.

"Look, I am hungry and your aura says you are too. Lets talk it over with at some fancy place." Phoebe smiled.

"I don't want to come out." He said.

"I knew it! You are gay!" Phoebe yelled.

"Not that type of coming out, Pheebs!" He smiled, "Where are we going?"

"Alessandro's." She said, "Sounds fancy to me."

Chandler shrugged.

* * *

 _"I don't think I can cope up with your neurosis anymore."_

 _"Ha ha ha."_

 _"Why are you laughing?"_

 _"You made a joke, right? So, I laughed!"_

 _"I want to kill myself everytime you have those outbursts. I like my room messy. I like myself messy. I don't want to shower 3 times a day-"_

 _"You shower three times a day? I must shower 5 times a day. No, maybe 6. Double the time you do- oh, sorry. You were saying?"_

 _"This is what I am talking about! I can't deal with this! This competition thing. We are through."_

 _"We are?"_

 _"Yes. Wait- what are you doing? No, no- don't break the plates! Not the glasses-"_

 _"Uh, Pete?"_

 _"What?!"_

 _"Can I clean the mess I just created?"_

 _"MONICA!"_

"Monica!" Monica returned to her senses when the sous chef called her. She sprinkled some more salt on the dish, and sent it.

"Tim?" She said.

"What's going on? You're kinda inattentive today."

"You don't wanna know. Get back to work."

Monica sighed as she stirred the food in the pot. All her hopes for a stable relationship died once again. Pete Becker was a millionaire alright, but his heart was way behind. She did him right. She broke all his glasses and plates. And she also cleaned up. Served the loser right. She knew she had flaws, but she hoped that somebody would hopefully see the real Monica inside. Nope, not one of the douchebags did. She mouthed, "Douchebag."

* * *

Phoebe said, "Nice restaurant, right, Chandler? They even have candles!" Chandler let out an exasperated sigh while waiting for their food, "That bitch."

"I know." She said, checking out a lady behind Chandler.

"I am speaking of Kathy. How could she do this to me? My childhood was already screwed. Now this girl comes like Godzilla-"

Phoebe interrupted, "I thought only Janice was supposed to be known by that term. Oh, look, the food's arrived!"

Chandler had a first bite. Mmm. No. Wait. Salt. Too much salt.

"Pheebs, this is too salty!"

"Chan, it IS supposed to be salty."

Kathy gave him a salt shaker. _The chef knows Kathy. Kathy is mocking him by giving the chef the salt shaker. How daring!_

"Wait, Pheebs." He stood up.

"Chandler!" She tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen.

"Umm, Monica?" Mona, one of the waitresses tapped on her shoulder, "I think you messed a dish up. He complains that it is too salty. Also something of calling you and shake the salt up or something."

"Darn! Could this day get any worse?" Monica left the pan on the sink, "I'll say sorry and give him something on the house."

"He's in the balcony."

Chandler could see a happy couple downstairs.

"Yeah, yeah. Lick his face up and tell him the next day that he sucks." He roared, "Or I will do the job. Hey you! You suck!"

"Excuse me?" A female voice said and he turned around.

"I asked for the chef. The chef." He said.

"I am the chef." She chuckled nervously.

"Are you?" He said in an angry tone which made her uncomfortable. Nut case.

"I wanted to apologize-" she was cut off as Chandler said, "What? For mocking me by using the extra salt from that salt shaker Kathy gave you!"

Monica couldn't follow his words, "Kathy, who?"

Chandler's jaws dropped. What he thought and said actually made no sense. But, still. This woman would also someday tell someone that he sucked. And she destroyed his appetite that night.

"I'm very sorry for the accident, sir. Would you be interested in a dessert item? It will be on the house."

Chandler was not in his sense. He blurted, "No. On the house you'll be cheating your boyfriend with a millionaire hunk."

Monica stared at him. Did Pete sent him as a payback for yesterday?

"Well on the house millionaire hunk would be rather molesting himself than sleeping with his girlfriend."

"You women think you are good at everything, aren't you?"

"Whatcha gonna do, huh? Tackle me on the ground?"

"Everyone of your race are bitches. B. I. T. C. H. E. S."

"That's it. We've had enough. Mona! Call security and escort this man!"

"I'd happily get out from this dumpster."

"Dumpster? You didn't-"

"Dumpster, garbage. Trash place. Your food's disgusting!"

"OUT!" She yelled.

"Are you banning me? Could I be anymore happier? You suck, yeah. You suck. Your food sucks."

"And you are a douchebag!" Monica yelled, tears coming out of her eyes, "All of you are douchebags!"

Phoebe entered the scene to witness the heated discussion.

"Oh, hey, Pheebs! They just banned us!" Chandler grinned. Phoebe grabbed his hands and while dragging him away she said to Monica, "I'm sorry. He's not his usual self today." Monica wiped her tears and went back.

Inside the cab, Phoebe asked, "What was that, Chandler?"

"What? We were _connecting_ with each other!" He said.

"She got you banned!" Phoebe sighed, "I know Kathy hurt you badly, but you should not vent it out on someone else! Talk to me instead, clear it out!"

The cabbie intervened, "Are you guys by any chance talking about Kathy Brewster?"

"Oh my god, you know her?" Chandler asked.

"That whore." He said. Chandler and Phoebe exchanged looks.

"I don't think after hearing that, I could be in any sort of relation."

"Wait-" Phoebe closed her eyes, "I sense something. I sense a woman in your life. You get married."

"Oh, really?" He said, with a mocking tone.

"Aha." Phoebe nodded enthusiastically.

* * *

Ross Geller walked in the kitchen. Seeing him, Monica turned around to hide her tears. Noticing it, he asked Mona, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. She was bummed out the whole day. And then a man came and told her that she sucked and her food sucked."

"Monica! You know that's not true! Do you think all the stars you received fell out of the sky? Though that is impossible because stars don't-"

"Ross," Monica turned, "Pete and I broke up."

"Gosh!" He said, "Why?"

"The very same reason why my other relationships didn't work."

"Oh, Mon!" He hugged his little sister, "I bet you will find a better guy."

"That's what you've been saying since 8th grade!" She pulled away, "You know, being obese was better. My obesity filtered all the assholes. Now that I am thin, guys are interested, but then they run away!"

"Speaking of assholes, I met one today. I wanted to buy a crystal duck for my collection, as I was examining it, this guy pushed me and the duck broke. The guy ran out of the store! And I had to pay for the item I didn't even buy!"

"How much was it?"

Ross hung his head downwards, "Er... 27 dollars?"

Monica said, "27 dollars and you react like this?"

"I had to pay!"

"Calm down, I'll make you something nice at home. Let's go."

"You know, I didn't like Pete."

"You never liked any of my boyfriends."

"Oh, I mentioned it?"

"Yes!"

The Geller siblings walked out of the restaurant, heading towards home.

 **A/N: I am new here, and this is my first fiction. Please feel free to review and *correct* my mistakes. (I have a bad keypad and some of the letters do not want to get touched, so if you see some letters missing, do inform me. :p ) Have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 2

**The One Where Thanksgiving Is Kind Of Better**

"Thanks for dropping me off, Ross." Monica forced a smile, though she felt that she had a heavy stone stuck inside her throat, trying to swallow the pain, but with every fake smile, the pain got deeper. _I must work more. Work will distract me._ She thought, repeating it in an endless loop until a mild headache, when she noticed her brother climbing up the stairs with her.

"Ross? Why are you coming up?" She asked.

"What? Now I need a formal invitation from you to come to your apartment?" He said, with a suspicious tone.

"Fine, come!" She said, rolling her eyes, "I thought I would be well if you could, I don't know, **leave me alone!** "

"Whoa, whoa, what's with that outburst?" Ross said, "I won't come inside. It's just that, I don't know, Thanksgiving's around, maybe you could invite mom and dad so they can comfort you up a little bit?"

 _Oh, yeah. Comfort. Given by Judy Geller._ She bit her lips as she opened the door.

"Joey! What are you doing here?" She sounded startled, when her neighbour closed the fridge, and said, "What? I was hugry!"

"Hey, Joey, pal!" Ross pulled out a little high five to him.

"Ross! So _how's the lesbian doin'?_ " He winked.

"Ha ha," Ross uttered, "And I thought that joke was extinct with the dinosaurs."

"Joey! What is this? My kitchen's all dirty!" Monica yelled.

"Yeah, baby!" He nodded with a grin on his face.

"Don't poke the beast." Ross whispered, which Monica heard but let it go as he continued, "Pete and she broke up."

"Aww, that sucks." Joey said, "Hey, Mon? Do you want me to track him down and kick his ass?"

"Intriguing offer, Joey, I'll say no though. I think I need some time alone. But, I am really okay." She looked at both of them, "And, we're having a mini thanksgiving party. Could we discuss about it tomorrow?"

The boys, finding their cue to leave, nodded along and left. Monica, cleaning the mess Joey created, decided to replay her brother's words.

 _Don't poke the beast._

Even her own brother thought she was a beast.

* * *

"Mom and dad are coming over tomorrow," Ross said, glancing through her empty fridge and counter, "Why's your fridge like Kalahari?"

"I was hungry." Joey replied.

Monica, who was just getting ready or her job, came out of her room and said, "Sorry guys, I am working overtime, and I forgot to buy stuff."

"Does that mean no Monica made food this year?" Joey said, while Ross whined, "But I promised mom and dad!"

"Cancel it!" She almost hissed, when Joey said, "If I buy those ingredients, would you cook?"

"I guess." She shrugged. Joey grinned, and swiped Ross's card out of his pocket. "Hey!" He protested, but Joey ran out.

"I sometimes wonder how you tolerate him." Ross said.

"Hey! He's my child!" Monica laughed out.

* * *

Phoebe was picking grocery when she heard someone call her name. She turned around to see one of her high school friends, waving at her. She gasped, wondering how fast time passed, when her friend embraced her.

"And to think you have changed," She grinned as she pulled away, "Still unhook bras, don't you?"

"You know, the Tribbiani still got it." He said, "How you doin'?"

"Joey, I am so happy to see you!" She said, noticing the bag on his hand, she asked, "Thanksgiving shopping?"

"Yeah. You too?"

Phoebe sighed, "Well, my roomie and my favorite place is closed on Thanksgiving, so I thought I could cook. Oh my god, I have no idea how to cook!"

"Why don't you spend your thanksgiving with us? My friend, Monica cooks amazing. Both of you can come. We could catch up."

"Sounds fun but you see, Chandler hates thanksgiving. He won't have any food related to it."

"I can manage that!" Joey said, "We should hang out more often! The party's at 495 Grove Street, apartment 20."

"Okay! We'll see you there!" Phoebe said quite enthusiastically.

* * *

"Are you crazy?" Chandler said, "I am not going there."

"Look, Chandler, I know you're my best friend, but I owe my school life to Joey. This guy was my only friend there. And I kind of ratted him out when I ran away from everything to the streets. It will be bad karma if I back out now."

Chandler smiled, "Fine, I'm doing this for you."

"He's good with women. You can learn stuff."

"I am good with women!" He laughed.

"We all know that." Phoebe said.

* * *

"I wouldn't mind extra guests." Monica cleaned the glasses as Joey jumped around her.

"You are the best woman in the world, Mon!" He hugged her, when Monica pulled away, "Not the bra, Joey. By the way, which kind of guy hates thanksgiving?"

"I don't know, some weirdo street hippie guy maybe." He shrugged and walked away.

"Maybe he's better than my parents." She sighed.

* * *

Phoebe and Chandler bumped into Joey downstairs.

"Oh, hey there!" Joey waved to the guests, "You must be Chandler."

"Chandler Bing, yes." He said.

"Chandler doesn't like to be around unknown people that much." Phoebe said.

"Well, my apartment's there, but you promise not to steal, okay?"

Chandler raised his eyebrows. _Of course I am a thief. I am a thief who happens to be wearing a formal suit._

"Yeah, don't steal anything, Bing." Phoebe nodded.

"So, here's #19, which is mine," He showed them, "And here's 20, my friend Moica's apartment."

"Chandler, would you be fine all by yourself?"

"I would be more fine than the colors of the wind." Chandler replied, going in.

* * *

"Monica, why would you break up with the best catch of your life?" Judy asked.

"I didn't break up with him. He broke off, mom." Monica almost yelled.

"You should've done your best to stick with him. I don't know if I'd ever see a grandchild." She snorted.

"Aww, Harmonica, you made this?" Jack distracted all.

"Yes, daddy." She smiled.

"Oh, good. Judy, remember when Ross first cooked us a boiled egg?"

"Terrific, absolutely. Nothing matched those."

Monica saw Joey's friend, Phoebe jotting down something on a little journal. Noticing Monica, she said, "Oh, just making a note. I could update my resume, now that I know I could cook."

She seemed so gullible and adorable, and plain funny, Monica bet she could be one of her best friends. Surely, if Rachel hadn't cut her off, she'd atleast have one girl friend. Monica heard the oven's alarm and brought out roasted chicken.

"Pheebs," Monica said while Phoebe responded, "Can I call you that?"

"Yeah, sure. I like your aura by the way. Kinky."

"So, when's your friend arriving?"

"That whole chicken is for him?" She gasped, "Lucky bastard. He's at Joey's."

"Suit yourself, I'll go pass these to him." Monica said, actually wanting to flee from her parents. They were making her anything but comfortable, constantly reminding her how miserable she was, how better a son Ross was, how she could be a wise woman and go back to Pete. She wanted to rather be with a street urchin than her parents.

She pushed the door open, and found Joey's TV switched on, with someone sitting on the couch, watching Tom and Jerry. As she kept the plate down, she made a little noise, and Phoebe's friend peeked from the couch.

She could swear those were the best pair of eyes.

"Hi." She gave a nervous chuckle, "I am Monica Geller. I am hosting the party across the hall, and since you don't like turkey, I brought you chicken."

Monica saw his head turning around. _How rude._

Chandler stopped breathing. _Oh my god, it's the chef lady!_

He again turned to see her, and still stuck to his former assumption, only adding a few details. _Oh my god, it's the gorgeous chef lady whom I called a bitch that night!_

Monica sighed, she shouldn't have expected courtesy from a street hippie when her parents didn't show any for her. She cut one piece of chicken for him and for herself. Carefully walking forward, and notioning Chandler to move a bit so she could sit. _And he was anything but a hippie._

 _What is wrong with her!_ Chandler scooted for her to sit down as he glued his eyes to Tom and Jerry. _Maybe she didn't recognize me._

"Is this your favorite?" She asked.

"No, the cable hasn't got much." Chandler replied, being careful enough.

"You must be wondering, why I am leaving the party when I am the host."

"To be honest, no." Chandler said, "Oh, where are my manners? Hi, I am Chandler Bing."

"Bing? That's an uncommon name."

"You should meet my uncle Bada!" He laughed out and Monica joined him. Chandler, being aware of the amount of salt he was about to taste, had a piece from the plate.

"Oh my! This is the best thing ever!" He yelled.

"Wow, really?" Monica asked, hearing that she was the best had become a habit, but the way he exclaimed, she wanted to hear more. She also thought she had seen him somewhere.

"Uh huh." He said.

To continue the conversation, she asked, "Phoebe seems nice."

"Oh, she is." He said.

"You don't talk much, do you?"

"Believe me when I say that you don't want to make me open my mouth," he grinned, "Because, then, there's no turning back. You'll be stuck with me, blabbering irrelevant things-" he stopped, as he realized he was doing that subconsciously, while Monica pulled out a smile.

"So what do you do for a living?"

"Uh, you can call me a corporate drone." With a slight discomfort, he asked, "And you?"

"I am a chef. You know Alessandro's?"

"No?" Chandler lied.

"I work there. You should come by there sometimes. I can cook other stuff."

"I wish I could say the same stuff about my office."

And that was it, a start of a beautiful conversation lasting for a couple of hours. Knowing there's an unlikely chance to meet again, they both shared their deepest secrets, Monica, hating her family, Chandler, hating thanksgiving, they told each other everything. They both felt ease by letting out the pain they were concealing for so many years. All of Chandler's discomfort went away and felt terribly ashamed of himself for calling such a wonderful lady a bitch when she was apparently the first person to laugh genuinely on his jokes. Usually he'd feel uncomfortable around pretty ladies, but Monica did not trigger anything for him to embarrassed about. Well, except telling her about his father. He was embarrassed, but she didn't laugh like others on this part.

"Oh, look at the time." He said, "We must head home."

"Come on Chandler, stay for some more while." She said.

"No," He stood up, "I wish I could, though."

"Well, I had an amazing time." She said while leading him out, "I would like some more."

"But I went through a lot of flashbacks. Now my head hurts." He grinned.

"You are quite the funny guy." She said, as she led him to her apartment, "And this is my home."

"Nice!" He said. Phoebe saw him, and stood up to introduce to everyone.

"Everyone, this is Chandler Bing." She drew their attention.

" **IT'S THE CRYSTAL DUCK GUY!** " Ross stood up from the couch, yelling with excitement.

"And that's my cue to leave. Phoebe!" He started to run out. Phoebe stood there, confused.

Monica's eyes grew wide, as she remembered where she saw him. She couldn't recognise him for the dim lighting on the balcony of Alessandro's.

"Oh my god, he called me a bitch!" She ran outside to catch Chandler, but he was already downstairs so she just shouted, "You called me a bitch!"

"You called me a douchebag, so we are even!" He yelled, looking up and then disappeared, Phoebe running behind him.

"That guy called you a bitch?" Judy laughed out, "Were you being so obvious, dear?"

Monica angrily told her, "The party's over. Ross, would you drop them off?"

Joey kept the leftover in the fridge when Ross walked their parents out.

"One guy I find Joey, who seems nice, already told me I am a bitch."

"Aww, Mon, I am sorry."

"He was-"

Joey intervened, "Please, don't bum me out in thanksgiving."

"Okay." Monica stopped.

* * *

Chandler, panting from all the running, said, "We are not going back there. Ever!"

"Okay, we won't!" Phoebe said, "Wow, I see improvement. Probably the whole Geller family hates you by now."

"I don't care!"

Phoebe smiled at him. _Oh, one day you will._

 **A/N: Thanks for reviewing! It really gave me a boost. Thanks for correcting me, Phoebe. And thanks for reading too!**

 **Now I am out of thanks. :(**


	3. Chapter 3

**The One With The Restaurant Fight**

Three days after Thanksgiving, as Ross and Joey were casually hanging out in Monica's apartment for breakfast, Monica was walking around nervously, being extra cautious to them while serving.

"What's up?" Ross said, to which Monica replied, "Big night for restaurant."

"Why? Who's coming? Can I go?" Joey said, "I have no late auditions for a couple of days."

"No, Joe, well, we're getting a review on the newspaper." Monica sighed, "When I want my name on anything, I want it in the best place."

"Mon, I know you'll get all the stars from them, otherwise, I don't know, **maybe blackmail them into giving you?** " Ross snorted.

"Ross, I did not do that." Monica laughed, "It was you in 4th grade."

The next morning, Monica had her friend and brother come over to read the review together. They were happy for her, as she never mentioned Pete once due to her extreme business. She flipped the pages for what it seemed to be like hours, but no sign of any Alessandro's.

With a grim rage on her face, she slammed the newspaper on the table and walked in circles for awhile. Then she said, "My restaurant does not get any coverage, but guess what? Another one does."

"Cool," Joey blurted out when Monica gave him the death stare, "I mean not cool."

"Mon, that does not mean your restaurant is worse than this."

"Of course it is, why do you think they reviewed this instead?" Joey said, when Ross gave him another death glare, to which Joey grinned, "Wow, Ross, you do nice impressions of Monica."

Monica thumped her fist on the table, causing coffee to spill out from the cups, "You know what I will do? I will go to this 'fancy' restaurant tonight, and find out myself what my restaurant did wrong, and what's so special about the third class pasta."

"Could I come?" Joey asked, to which Monica nodded her head.

"Not me, sorry. I am watching Ben today." Ross said, "Good luck with your infiltration, agent Geller."

"And me?" Joey grinned.

"Good luck to you too, sidekick Tribbiani."

* * *

Chandler was playing call bridge online, when Doug barged into the office. Chandler, being in a complete shock, closed the game and switched to work.

"Bing, my boy!" Doug yelled with joy.

"Doug, my dad!" Chandler playfully remarked, to which Doug laughed out and asked, "What are you doing this evening, Bing?"

"Nothing, I guess."

"Well, I just read this awesome review. What do you say, you and I go check it out? You could also bring a guest!"

"I am not so sure."

"They have an open stage for stand up comedy!"

Chandler grinned, "You need not say more."

"Great. See you at 6." Doug left, Chandler switching the tab to Call Bridge again, called Phoebe to let her know about the dinner plan.

Chandler seemed to very excited about the stand up comedy, and Phoebe had to go through his practice. She noticed, there's a whole new Chandler when he's with his colleagues, laughing in a weird way, obvious for anyone to detect it as a fake one, but to her surprise, Doug never was able to detect it.

 _Kill me already._ She wanted a break from those two, so she eyed around, staring at the entrance, trying to find out whose aura would need a cleansing. And then, she saw Joey Tribbiani with his neighbour Monica, entering the restaurant. As she saw them sit down and order, Chandler went up the stage for his event. Phoebe went up as well, to greet them.

"Joey! What a great surprise!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"I am here too!" Monica waved, Phoebe hugged her.

"Come on, sit with us." Joey said, " We're having pasta."

"Actually, I have company." Phoebe said.

"Is your roommate here?"

"He is," Monica pointed at the stage, "Upto doing some stupid things."

"I know! He thinks he has it all figured out!" Phoebe laughed, "But I sense he's going to end up embarrassing himself. His boss is there and I can't say anything."

"He thinks he's good, doesn't he?" Monica eyed him suspiciously, "We'll see."

"Hello, children." Chandler started, "This is a wonderful evening, and I am Chandler Bing-a-ling. Ha! That escalated quickly."

The guests looked at him, with no sign of laughter.

"Get down already, loser Bing!" Monica yelled, when Chandler saw her, and the whole restaurant laughed at her remark. Monica said in a low voice, "Wow, they love me."

"What? Down like your career?" Chandler said.

"He didn't say that. Tell me he didn't say that." Joey said.

"He did. Will there be a fight?" Phoebe asked, "If there's one, my bet is on Monica."

Joey nodded, when Monica stood up and went towards him, "No, maybe down like your zipper!"

Chandlet blushed immediately and fixed his zipper. The whole restaurant clapped, even whistled.

"Ha, you want to get tough, lady?" He said, "You want to eat the macaroni out of a box?"

"I'd surely like to meet my children's friends wearing a fruit headdress!"

Chandler stopped for a while, did he not keep any secrets at all that night? He struggled to remember any of her embarrassing secrets, the situation was getting more heated eventually.

"You were fat!"

Monica gasped, "Yeah, you want a piece of me, dude?"

Phoebe and Joey immediately separated them.

"What are you, kids?" Phoebe asked.

 _ **Boo!**_

The guests and the staff wanted to see more of their verbal bashing, some even started to cry, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"Okay, why don't you both arm wrestle each other? Three rounds." Joey suggested.

"Ready to lose, pretty girl?" Monica asked Chandler.

"No. How about you, macho dude?" He replied.

"You are so going down!" She growled.

They both sat on the center table, with their palms joined, both giving each other death glares. The whole restaurant crew were surrounding them.

"What will be your first wager?" Phoebe asked.

"A hundred dollars." Monica put the money on the table, Chandler did the same.

"Okay, 3, 2, 1. Go!"

Before Chandler could even move, Monica defeated him.

"1-0." Monica said, "I bet it will be 3-0."

"In your dreams!" Chandler growled.

"500 dollars." Monica kept a bill on the table, Chandler tried to protest but kept the money anyways.

"3, 2, 1. Go." Phoebe said.

This time they had to struggle, as Chandler didn't want to lose six hundred dollars. Monica was freakishly strong and would not let her opponent win at any cost. Within a couple of minutes, she defeated Chandler.

"Darn you, woman!" Chandler exclaimed, while Monica grinned.

"Last wager?" Phoebe asked.

"Thousand dollars." Monica's eyes sparkled.

"No, no." Doug intervened, "This money talk is getting boring. You," he pointed at Phoebe, "Decide Bing's wager. And you," he pointed at Joey, "Decide this lady's."

"Ooh, yay!" Phoebe clapped her hands, "If Chandler loses, he'll have to take Monica and me to shopping, totally at his expense."

"Oh, dear God." Chandler swallowed.

"If Monica loses, she gets to kiss me." Joey grinned.

"Gross." Monica said.

"Fair deal." Chandler said.

"Yeah, we'll see that when we go shopping." Monica said.

As Phoebe counted down, their eyes met. Monica never saw such blue eyes, it almost looked like she was being hypnotised by them. Chandler, however, used all of his might and pulled Monica's palm down.

"Oh my- Chandler won!" Phoebe gasped.

"No!" Monica facepalmed, "I never lose!"

"You have to kiss Joey now!" Phoebe said.

"What? No!" Joey yelled.

"It's not a big deal, Joey. Lets get this over with." Monica said.

"Back off, Mon! I can't kiss you!" He shrugged, "I said that because I knew he would lose!"

"Hey, thanks!" Chandler said sarcastically.

"No, no. I'm changing the wager." Joey said, "You kiss the winner instead."

"What!" Chandler and Moica exclaimed in unison.

"I can't kiss her! I don't want to kiss her!" Chandler said.

"Bing, you better let her do it." Doug said, with a serious look on his face.

"Yeah, and make it hot. For atleast a minute." Joey said.

"Come on, Chandler. This is the only thing you'll be getting from a girl for the rest of the month!"

"Pheebs!"

"No." Monica shook her head, "No."

Someone from the crowd yelled, "Come on girl, are you afraid?"

" **I am not afraid!** " Monica yelled, and pulled Chandler's collar, bringing her lips on his.

She could hear the audience cheering, Phoebe's chuckle, even Joey saying 'how you doin' to someone, all the while keeping her eyes closed and hoping the minute would pass sooner, until she felt him responding to her kiss.

She felt him caressing her tenderly, while he kissed her back, stirring unknown feelings inside her stomach. The way he kissed her, nobody did. All the noise around She would almost lift one of her legs, marking her territory over him- what was she thinking! They were kissing, because she didn't win. Not because they had feelings for each other-

"Time's up!" Monica heard Joey. _Why couldn't you wait for a few more seconds?_

Chandler slowly pulled away and looked at Monica. It was kind of hard to resist her, even though they would rip off each other's arms a minute ago. Phoebe was right. This is how close he could be with anyone. He seemed to notice that he made Monica uneasy. _Why did I grab her butt?_

"Lets go, Joey." Monica patted on Joey's back. Joey waved at Phoebe to let her know that they were leaving. Phoebe grinned at them, and then squeezed Chandler's shoulders, "You feeling okay, tiger?"

"Huh?" He asked as his gaze followed Monica stepping out of the restaurant.

"Somebody got a little attached." Phoebe laughed, "Ask her out someday."

"Na, not my type." He shrugged.

Doug came towards, "Well, Chandler, I had the best night. I met someone. I will take her to my apartment." He winked, "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Chandler nodded his head.

* * *

"Bing!" Doug barged into Chandler's office, prompting him to switch tabs.

"Yes, sir?" He stood up.

"Do you have free time?"

"Actually, I was crunching some numbers-"

"Who are you kidding? You were playing call bridge."

"What? No!"

"Yeah! I was playing with you virtually a couple of minutes ago. I go by DogDug."

"Oh," Chandler nervously chuckled, "Nice name."

"So, anyways, the last night, when you and that chick were fighting, this girl and I were betting on you, then one thing led to another, and I had the best sex. As you won the last round, for which I got to bang her, I think you should get a raise."

"A what?" Chandler coughed.

"A raise." Doug grinned and walked out, "Keep wrestling chicks, Bing!"

He worked there for a great amount of time, went through overtimes, and just fighting with Monica brought him extra money. Technically, she had a share too. He had a glass of water, searched something on the net and dialled the number on the phone.

"Alessandro's, how may I help you?" A female voice answered.

"Could I talk to the head chef, please?" He paused for a second, "I'm from the health department."

He waited as a loud voice picked the phone up.

"Larry! No, this is the last time I am telling you, I am not getting you any discounts. And don't you dare give me empty threats!"

Chandler chuckled, "Is this Monica?"

"Larry?" She asked.

"Oh believe me, I'm done giving you threats after last night."

"Who's this?"

"Uh, don't hang up yet- I am Chandler Bing."

"I have to return to my work. Unless there's something really important, do not call."

"No- wait, wait. Listen, um, my boss liked our little competition, and gave me a raise. Um, well, since you were a part of it-"

"Okay, keep talking."

"I was wondering to celebrate over this?"

"Fine." She seemed exasperated, "Central Perk, 7. Okay for you?"

"Okay!" He smiled, but soon heard Monica hang up.

It was starting to get interesting.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! I must admit, reviews do give people boost. Thanks for making my day! And there goes my stock of thanks.**

 **To be honest, this fan base rocks. Everyone is so supportive of each other, I wish my school and surrounding were like this.**


	4. Chapter 4

**The One With The Fake Significant Others**

"Aww man, what is it with you?" Joey closed the refrigerator door with a loud noise.

Monica glared at him, "What's wrong, Joey?"

"You don't have food for me anymore!" He pulled out one of his sad faces.

"Sweetie," She reached out and hugged him, "I am so sorry! Lately work stress-"

Joey's eyes grew wide as she pulled out, he said, "Wait, that's it? No squishing with your parts?"

"Joey!" She laughed, "I would cook something for you, but I got this mini dinner thing-"

"It's a date?" Joey asked.

"No! A dinner thing-"

"With a guy?"

"With Phoebe's roommate." Monica corrected.

"It's a date!" Joey grinned, "I knew you hit it off!"

"We did not hit it off," Monica protested, "And it's not a date!"

"You're blushing!" Joey said, "Heh, I sounded girly. You need a girl friend." He stopped as his mind played some erotic version of his words, and let out a giggle.

"Joey!" Monica smirked.

* * *

Chandler pushed the door and kept his coat, his eyes searching for Monica. He was glad inside that Monica chose a coffee shop as his luck with elegant restaurants were a bit off lately. He got banned from a place, and then arm wrestled at the other. He hoped he didn't mess this up. Monica waved reluctantly, she found a big orange couch next to the counter. Chandler presented her a smile, to which Monica pretended that she didn't see, and turned her head around.

"Hi." He sat down beside her, giving her a lot of place. Monica was reading a magazine, and without looking at him, she said, "Hey."

Chandler sighed and looked at the counter. There were a lot of baked goods, but he had to admit that the delicacies he devoured this thanksgiving were indeed the best he had ever eaten. He felt very awkward and nervous around this particular woman, given how she beat him two times a row. This overcompetitive side was not unknown to him, that night Monica quite blurted out her disorders as she told him about Pete.

"So, coffee?" Chandler asked.

"Already had one." She pointed at an empty cup near her.

"Are you mad at me or something?" Chandler asked.

"No?" She closed her magazine and stared at him, "What would give you that idea?"

"Seems like it." He shrugged.

"Well, you called me a bitch that night-"

"I thought we considered that being even!" He interrupted.

"You didn't apologize even. And yet somehow, I say yes to this evening. What's wrong with me!"

"I am sorry, then! Okay?" Chandler rolled his eyes, "I am sorry!"

"You don't sound like you're sorry." Monica coldly said.

"Fine, I'll just go away." Chandler said, "You don't have to be so mean for it. I just wanted to get to know you better."

Monica suddenly grabbed his hand, "I am so sorry! Actually one thing is bothering me nuts and I think I am venting out on you without any reason. I am sorry."

Chandler was surprised at her sudden change of behaviour, but she really seemed apologetic. She was staring at him, and he was staring back, until he realized that she was not seeing him, rather something behind him. Chandler followed her gaze, and mouthed 'Oh.'

"Come on." He stood up, gesturing Monica to follow him.

"What? Where are we going?" She asked, but then stood up, following Chandler. He smiled, and then led her to a painting.

"Chandler?" She seemed very quizzical to what Chandler was intending. _He wouldn't guess this. Never._

"Fix this, if that keeps you calm." He grinned, motioning his hand towards the very, very, **unevenly hung painting**. Monica couldn't believe that Chandler exactly found out her problem and didn't ridicule her for it. Rather, he was encouraging her.

"Won't it deem awkward?" She started caressing the frame, figuring out which way would make the painting seen as a perfectly hung painting.

"Eh, we're just a couple of art lovers." He shrugged and then stood behind Monica, "I'll cover you."

Monica rotated the painting, letting out a huge grin as it seemed perfect.

"Holy crap, you gave that ugly painting life!" Chandler laughed.

"THANK YOU!" She yelled cheerfully and on the spur of the gleeful moment, planted a kiss on his cheek,"I feel so good now!"

Chandler was surprised, because that 'little' peck that woman just planted, which he could swear left lipstick marks, succeeded to bring out the thoughts he had been suppressing since last night. He felt sparks. It was just the way she kissed him- triggered something in him to kiss her so passionately- _Stop it, Chandler._

"I think I saw another painting there!" He joked, Monica playfully hit him on his chest.

"You're a nice guy." Monica grinned.

 _This woman is so pretty._ Chandler realized that he enjoyed being with her, even when they fought, he wished they would fight a bit longer. _Buy time, Bing. Buy time._

"Being nice makes me hungry." He said, "Do you want a cake?"

"I don't see why not."

Chandler and Monica headed to the counter, paying the weird peroxide blonde man and taking a bite from the cake, when Chandler heard someone calling his name. He looked at Monica, but she wasn't calling him.

He looked around and found out who actually was calling him. Out of billions and billions people, it couldn't be anyone else.

"Holy crap." He forcefully smiled and whispered, "Kathy."

Monica saw the attractive lady and asked Chandler, "Who? The nasal one or the sexually frustrated one?"

"The frustrated one who put a curse on me." He waved at Kathy who was coming over.

"You poor thing," Monica caressed his shoulder, "I've got an idea. Ever heard of improv?"

Chandler stared at her, not quite able to understand what she was saying, until she linked her arm with his, and he suddenly got a hint what role Monica was supposed to be playing.

"Chandler, hi!" Kathy put her arms around him, but Chandler didn't hug her back. He was too busy forcing a grin. She looked surprised, but then she saw his arm linked with Monica's.

Chandler said, "Good to see you. Kathy, meet Monica."

Monica understood it was her cue, and she forwarded her other hand, "Hi, I am Monica Geller." Kathy seemed puzzled while shaking hands, when Monica clarified, "Chandler's girlfriend."

"Wow," Kathy looked at him, "You moved on fast."

"You know, the Chan-Chan has still got it."

"Honey," Monica put all affection in one word, "Don't repeat the word, please?"

Monica's improv skill impressed Chandler. Maybe she has picked something from her neighbour.

"So, where's Nick?" Chandler asked out of curiosity.

"We broke up." She said, "I am actually here for a date. You know the guy who played Dr. Ramoray in 'Days of Our Lives'?"

"You are waiting for Joey?" Monica asked.

"You know him?"

"He's her best friend, actually." Chandler sounded proud of the fact for once.

"Wow, the world really is small." Kathy laughed uncomfortably, "I run into my ex, who's dating my current's friend."

"Wait, wait, Joey is your current?" Chandler asked, because he heard lots of Joey's 'adventures' from Phoebe, and calculating the time she spent, "Nick's gone in like a week?"

"That's none of your business." Kathy's voice seemed loud.

"I'm doing a lot better then," he shrugged, "Because this one here," he puts his arm around Monica to prove his point, "Is a keeper."

Monica was dumbstruck at his words. She dated various people, from people twice her age to people, well, younger than her. Nobody ever had wished to treat her, or even say nice things about her like Chandler just did. Even though they were pretending to be dating.

"This silly girl has no idea what she lost." She thought, but she jumped into reality, pinching Chandler as a sign to not overdo it. The way he was holding her gave her goosebumps.

"So I was not a keeper?" Kathy shot a death glare. Chandler couldn't understand why she was being so angry as she was the one who pushed away the idea of 'them'. He could feel the heat rising, a perfect moment for him to run away, he even moved, but the feisty woman standing beside him wouldn't.

"Maybe he'd consider you if you considered him, right?" Monica smiled, "Nick was a keeper, ha! I am not quite sure if you guys broke up yet, is Joey the new Nick?"

Monica had definitely hit some boundaries, but what amazed Chandler that she herself remembered a good deal of details.

"You are so mean!" Kathy welled up and looked at Chandler, "And you told her about us? Everything?"

"Hmm, I guess, but I couldn't help myself modifying the story." Chandler said, "You know, your eternal love for me part-"

Kathy grunted, "I might had got carried away that one night-"

"Monica?" Joey entered the scene, "You are having your date here?"

Chandler stared at Monica, "Date?"

Kathy faced Joey and said in a cold voice, "I can't deal with this. Don't call me."

Joey looked confused as Kathy left Central Perk. "What the hell just happened?"

"Date?" Chandler asked, ignoring Joey.

"I didn't tell him it was a date!" Monica defended herself, "Dude, come on, I made her cry."

"The amount of pain she gave me, she deserved it a bit, I guess. But I do not quite feel happy about making a person feel low. Although, I couldn't thank you enough- for standing up for me."

"I think we'd be great pals," She grinned, "I'd do it for Joey too."

Joey was standing, trying to understand why they were being oblivious that he was around, and what they had to do with Kathy dumping him.

"You two sent her away?" Joey angrily asked, "First you deprive me of food, now you are depriving me of sex?"

"Wow, what's with the fancy words?" Monica laughed, "Okay, I will make you dinner. Homemade food, what do you say, Chandler?"

"Dinner? Could I be anymore intrigued?" He stopped, "It's kind of wrong that Pheebs is missing it."

"You two go up, I'll invite her." Monica patted on Joey's back, as they left she went to the payphone, to invite both Phoebe and Ross.

Monica's whole day passed by cooking, but nothing matched the feeling when she served her friends and family. Looking at Phoebe, Chandler and Joey, she felt like they were the family she never had. Though Ross was obnoxious sometimes, he really cared about everyone around. He asked Monica and Joey regularly how Phoebe was, after he heard her tragic origin and how she managed to overcome the bizarreness of being homeless. That's why she decided, everyone should get to know each other, especially Chandler and Ross. Despite having a seemingly rough history with him, she liked the Chandler on Thanksgiving and coffeeshop. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was an amazing, incredible kisser. She even understood why Chandler behaved weird at her restaurant, as Kathy seemed to be annoying and honestly, just as Chandler described, sexually frustrating.

She grinned automatically remembering Chandler's hiding attempt on thanksgiving, he recognized her, and though he shared a lot of things, he carefully avoided their verbal encounter the previous day at her restaurant. And he told her himself, he wanted to get to know her better. So, probably he wanted to hang around too.

Her thoughts which Chandler occupied ended when Ross entered the apartment, he was surprised seeing everyone. Chandler immediately stood up and went near Monica, to get necessary protection from Ross.

"Man, you broke the crystal duck-" Ross said.

"Ross! You are still holding a grudge against that?" Monica rolled her eyes, when Chandler came forward and brought out his wallet. He counted some money and handed Ross some.

"What?" Ross exclaimed.

"Twenty seven dollars. For the duck."

"Wow, really?" Ross grinned, "I thought you were going to ignore."

And since then, all five were an inseparable unit.

* * *

(After some weeks) It was a regular dinner session at Monica's. There were laughters, Phoebe and Chandler visited, but Phoebe seemed to be tensed from the beginning. Monica noticed that and asked her, "What's wrong, Phoebe?"

"Nothing." She stared at Chandler, "Nothing."

"Phoebe, tell me." Chandler urged.

"Uh, my grandmother found me."

"That's great!" Joey said, "Finally you have a family member who knows you!"

"She wants me to stick around. So, uh, I will be moving."

"What!" Chandler stood up, "Phoebe!"

"I really hate myself now for doing this, but I spent a whole lot time without my family, and I want to know her."

"If you choose a roommate, please send the hot rejected ones here! I'm looking for a roommate." Joey winked.

"You should move then." He sighed, then walked to the balcony. Everyone stared at him, not figuring why he would take this in such way. Monica decided to talk to him.

"I hate to be alone. I don't want to be alone." Chandler blurted.

Monica said, "You don't have to be alone. Didn't you hear? Joey is searching for roommates. You can talk to him. He'll be around, I'll be around. You can come with Joey to have dinner- I'll even have a chair for you-"

Chandler laughed, "Okay, woman. Stop dreaming." Monica laughed as Chandler continued, "But Joey wanted hot roommates. Am I hot enough?"

Monica nodded, "Nah."

"Wow, thanks, Monica."

Although the decision was a bit rushed, Joey was quite excited about Chandler moving in, as he found a new partner in watching Baywatch. They all hung out in Monica's apartment, sharing their stories. Ross and Phoebe dropped by frequently. As Monica predicted, Joey and Chandler were found in her apartment during meal times.

Life seemed a bit higher than the average line for Monica, until she was fired. She was strong, and she didn't want to show anyone how broke she felt, but that insecure Chandler, seemed to literally hunt her insecurity and they ended up sharing bitter experiences in workplaces, when Chandler had to joke, "So, Mon, if you are not a chef there at Alessandros anymore, does that mean I am not banned?"

She smiled. Chandler loved seeing her smiling. He'd continuously joke more to show off to her until she smacked him.

* * *

"I can't believe it!"

It was a quiet Sunday morning, the guys were having their breakfasts while Monica was reading the newspaper. The guys stared at her to know what made her shriek.

Chandler raised his eyebrow, "Did the zoo bring another specimen of Joey?"

"Spe- cimen." Joey enunciated and slyly smiled until he realized what Chandler meant, "Hey!"

"There's a chef opening at Javu's!" Seeing the guys not reacting as same as she, she explained, "It's a classy restaurant, and kinda my dream workplace. It's already Monica clean there!"

"You should go for it." Chandler smiled.

"It's not easy, Bing." She sighed, "Not impossible, also. I need to blow their minds off-"

"Blow something else." Joey grinned, "That worked for another chick."

"I need this job in a decent way, Joe. I need to practice a classy recipe. I need to shop. Anybody wants to come with me?"

"I have auditions today. I need a big break." Joey said.

"Mon, I'll go with you then. I have the day off." Chandler said.

Monica didn't prefer shopping at such overpriced places, her unemployment was already paying off. Luckily Chandler, being the generous gentleman, offered to lend money for the ingredients if she had found shortage. She prepared a list, with multiple categories and they were just strolling around.

Monica's eyes stuck on a familiar looking brunette, who was waiting near a Porsche, having a disgusted look on her face.

 _After all these years, could it be?_

She handed the list to Chandler, and went near the woman.

Just as she thought.

"Rachel!" She called, "Hey!"

Rachel Green, her former best friend, turned around, struggling to remember who the stranger was.

"Do I know you?" She uttered, attempting to hide the I'm-disgusted-by-everything look stuck permanently on her face.

"It's Monica. Monica Geller?" She chuckled nervously.

Rachel grinned, "Oh! Monica!" And then went for a reluctant short hug. Pulling out, she showed her hand to Monica.

 _What am I supposed to see? Her expensive manicure? Oh, no. An engagement ring._

"I'm engaged." She grinned.

Monica stared at her. This was just like at the end of high school. She loved to show off her boyfriends, unconsciously reminding Monica that she'd always be a fat girl, alone and virgin. Being incredibly challenged inside, she grinned along her and asked her to wait.

She went back to Chandler, who was checking off the stuff he bought from the list. _What a spouse alike thing to do. Rachel Green, you're going down!_

"Where were you?" He asked, "Some of the items are not available here."

"Hey, remember how we tackled the Kathy fiasco?" Monica asked.

"I really owe you one for that. But all of a sudden, why are you mentioning? Is she here?"

"If you owe me one, here's a chance to get even." Chandler looked confused, so Monica explained, "There's this high school classmate, Rachel."

"You told me. Is she here?"

"Yeah, and she makes me more insecure than ever. Like that time, I had atleast a reason, though being incredibly lame, but using that I could explain around why I was single. I was fat. But now, I don't have a reason to be single."

"That bothers you for why, exactly? I mean, aren't you quite happy?"

"She's ENGAGED!" She hissed, "I can't let her win!"

"You want me to be what?" He freaked out, "Your fiancé?"

"No, no-" She saw Chandler letting out a sigh of relief, "I was thinking like, spouse?

"No-no-no-no, Mon!" He stammered, "No."

"You owe me, Chandler." She reminded.

"Crap." He sighed, "Okay, we are just pretending. Lets get it over with."

Rachel was still there, wondering why Barry wasn't yet there, when she saw her former friend coming towards her, with a tall guy with her.

"Hi, Rachel. Meet Chandler." Monica said.

Rachel, taking a good look at him, asked to herself why she would have to forcefully meet a guy.

"He's my husband."

 _How easily she lied._ Chandler forced a smile and shook hands with Rachel.

 _How could Monica, Monica Geller get married before her!_ Rachel couldn't believe it. Monica patted Chandler's back, appreciating his endeavor to stay as calm as possible. Chandler shot an affectionate look towards her and she did the same.

 _How are they so happy?_ Rachel asked herself, but that scene obviously made her melt a bit.

"Where's your ring, Mon?" She said.

Monica became startled at Rachel calling her 'Mon', so Chandler decided to lie in, "We got rings, but we didn't think a simple metal piece could symbolize our love for each other. We wear them in formal events."

 _This man's on fire._ Monica thought, she didn't know he was _**that**_ good with words.

 _Wow._ Rachel mouthed, almost welling up.

"Well, honey, we left little Joey alone, shouldn't we leave?" Chandler uttered.

"You have a kid?" She asked.

"Two. Joseph and Phoebe Geller-Bing." Monica said while Chandler gave her a look. He couldn't decide if he would be nervous about the family name she used or laugh out that she had to state Joey and Phoebe as their kids.

"I think we should head home." Monica smiled, "Well, Rachel, it was great seeing you. Good luck with your wedding."

"Thanks." She said with a dry voice. She saw as the two walked away from her, chatting about something while Monica laughed. Like crazy.

She forgot the last time Barry made her laugh. Where was he? Where was Mindy, her bridesmaid? They had a lot of planning to do. But, they were late as usual. She automatically let out a sigh.

Could she and Barry be as happy as Monica and Chandler? She wondered.

* * *

 **A/N: Terribly sorry for updating late! I was being a bit picky, and I had to change the draft for more than 3 times, because I myself didn't like the previous ones. Oh, and Rach's here! She's during her spoilt phase, that's why she was not friendly first. I hate rushing things, so maybe we'll have to wait for mushy stuffs :p I really want to establish them as friends first. (Which I may have done a bit)**

 **So anyways, feel free to review, rebuke or suggest. I really appreciate all the reviews.**


	5. Chapter 5

**The One With The Mishaps**

Ross and Carol's divorce was finalized the previous day, he'd cursed himself for marrying her the first place. Monica, seeing her brother's broken state, thought he needed family and made him spend the night on her couch. He had just woken up, seeing Monica working for breakfast for more people.

"Hey, Ross!" Phoebe entered, "Aww, aren't you the saddest person?"

"Morning, Phoebe." Monica waved, while clearing her station.

"Hi." Ross uttered, letting out a yawn. Phoebe approached him, doing weird hand gestures as if she was driving something away. She was cleansing his aura.

"Okay, okay. That's enough." Ross said as Phoebe blew on his face, "How's your grandma?"

"Doing inappropriate things like nobody's business!" She grinned.

The apartment door was pushed with a great force and in came Joey, running. He waved a paper and kept laughing. Chandler followed him, rolling his eyes.

"Guess what? I found this from Chandler's stuffs." He handed the paper to Ross, who after taking a glance, started chuckling.

"Man, seriously?" He showed the paper to Phoebe, "Wenus and anus reports?"

"It's a work thing!" He explained, "Annual Net Usage-"

 _And nobody was buying that._ He sighed, and started his breakfast.

"Hey, did you notice it started pouring?" Phoebe said.

"Strange. It's not the season." Ross said, with sadness lingering on his eyes.

"Maybe it's raining because of Ross!" Phoebe suggested, "You know, the weather connects with his mood."

"Yeah, you remind me of Eeyore." Chandler remarked.

"Whore-e?" Joey couldn't catch the words.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Nobody knows Eeyore? The sad, gray ass?" He slapped the table with frustration.

"Hey, he just called you an ass." Joey grinned, but seeing Ross staring at him angrily made him retreat, "No, you're not an ass. Chandler's the ass."

"I couldn't be anymore delighted. Now I just feel like an idiotic cartoon geek."

"I remember him! He's from Winnie the Pooh!" Monica jumped with joy and then steadied herself, "Which I obviously do not watch. Hey, did you know? Chandler watches Tom and Jerry!"

"Discovery of the century." He snorted, "Way to go, Monifer Columbus!"

"I want coffee." Phoebe remarked, completing her share of breakfast.

"Lets head downstairs then!" Monica suggested, and everyone stood up, deciding to chill in Central Perk instead.

It amazed them that though it was pouring heavily outside and it was just opening time, Central Perk was full with customers, but that orange couch which they grew fond of was not taken. They sat there, while Chandler went up to order coffees for them. That's when Phoebe noticed an aged man was staring at Monica. She stared at him for a while, but he was oblivious.

"Mon, there's some weird uncle stalking you." She finally let Monica know. Monica turned around to see who it was, when the stranger looked aside. Monica still caught a glimpse of him, her eyes turning bigger and her breath getting heavier. Ross looked who it was, even Joey. They all seemed startled.

"Richard." Monica uttered.

Richard Burke clearly heard Monica speaking his name. He went up to her, biting his lower lip, asking, "Could I speak to you for some minutes?"

Monica stood up, looking directly at him, her eyes welling up.

* * *

" _Africa!" Monica yelled, "You're moving?"_

 _"I am so sorry, Monica." Richard sighed, "I should've told you before. Only for three months, though."_

 _"I can't stay without you so long!" She sighed along with him._

 _"Which is why I could plan this," he grinned and knelt down on his knee, scooping a velvet box with a beautiful ring, "Will you marry me?"_

 _Monica welled up, swiping her tears, she screamed, "Yes! Yes!"_

 _Richard pulled her in an embrace, and then was about to slide the ring, when he heard Monica whisper something. He paused, not following her, "Sorry?"_

 _"Baby names. Thinking about baby names." She grinned._

 _"Oh my god..." Richard panted, "Are you pregnant?"_

 _"No!" She blushed, maybe it was too soon to be thinking about these. Wedding first._

 _"Thank God. The last thing we would want aboard is a baby."_

 _"What?" Monica's jaw dropped._

 _"Yeah! You saw my share of them, Mich and Tim. I had enough." He noticed Monica crying, when he realised he had made a grave mistake. He held her hand to slide the ring, when she pulled out._

 _"You don't want a kid, do you?" She sounded cold._

 _"Well, you want -"_

 _"Do you?" Monica interrupted him._

 _"Honestly, no. But for you-"_

 _"I'm sorry." She said, "I won't marry you."_

 _"Wait, what?"_

 _"I want a full family. I want kids. And I want their father to want them too." She stormed off._

* * *

Just two years ago, but the pain felt fresh. She didn't hear from Richard again. And now he was standing, all drenched up, wanting to talk to her. What did he want?

Chandler noticed Monica missing, Joey and Ross staring far away where Monica and an _almost_ old man was striking a conversation.

"I can't believe Richard's back." Joey said.

"Yeah, he was like the love of her life." Ross vaguely tried to hear what Richard was saying.

Chandler vividly remembered Richard. This guy caused Monica a lot of pain, and she obviously took more time to deal with moving on. And Monica's already crying.

 _You won't get away with this, Richard._ He thought as he walked to them.

"Richard." She said, looking away to hide her feelings.

"Monica, I came here to say I still love you." He heard her gasp, "Please let us go back to where we were."

"Richard-" She cried, "No-"

"I want babies. Don't you worry about that."

"No-" She hid her face.

What'd take this woman to say 'yes'? He wondered, when he saw a young man coming towards Monica, and before Richard anticipated, he grabbed her waist, as she leaned and hugged the new guy strongly, stifling up.

"We haven't met." He said, "I am Chandler Bing, her husband."

Monica immediately pulled out, staring at Richard, "No- no!" She protested, while Chandler raised an eye brow looking at her.

Richard felt mortified, of course she was married by now. _With a better guy._ He clearly understood why Monica was denying him a couple of seconds ago. He said, "Sorry." And stepped out under the rain, promising not to disturb her again.

Monica glared at Chandler and screamed, "Why!"

"What why?" Chandler couldn't understand her outrage. The other three rushed to them.

"He proposed to me! And you ruined it!" Monica cried out.

"That man?" He laughed, "Honestly, you could do better!"

Monica felt extreme rage inside her. Her life was going to be perfect. This man ruined it with her own manouever.

"You know everything about me?" She asked, gritting her teeth.

"It doesn't take a moron to see you wouldn't end up happy with him." He remarked.

She acted on impulse, using her hand as hard as she could, on Chandler's face. He, being awestruck, touched the place where she hit her, and saying anything else, walked away to his apartment.

"You slapped Chandler!" Phoebe covered her mouth.

"Richard came back," She cried, "He said that he loved me."

"Oh, Mon!" Ross hugged his little sister.

"You guys know nothing!" Her voice became muffled, "You don't know how painful it was for me to let him go- why did Chandler have to ruin it?"

"He didn't know that, Mon." Joey defended Chandler.

"I told him about Richard!" She cried.

Suddenly, the door of Central Perk opened, and in came a bride, all drenched up.

"Thank God, Monica, you are here!" She let out a sigh, staring at everyone around her.

"Rachel?" Monica pulled out of her brother's hug, who was almost drooling over Rachel like he used to in high school.

"Why are you crying?" Rachel asked, confused about the scene, while she herself was confused from the morning.

Joey bit a cookie, "She had a row with Chandler," he stopped, wondering if this new girl would actually know him, and if Monica would prefer telling her, so he just casually asked, "How you doin'?"

Ross glared at him, "Don't."

Monica noticed Rachel's attire and her distressed look. Her maternal instinct rose up as she asked, "Honey, what brings you here?"

"I.. I couldn't go through this." Rachel pointed at her dress, "It's not cold feet."

Wiping her tears, Monica said, "Why don't you sit down and tell me?"

Rachel sat, but didn't say anything. She felt uncomfortable around new people, so Monica asked the rest of the three to bring Rachel coffee. They got the underlying message, though it took a bit more time for Ross to scoot, when Phoebe dragged him.

"Mon, that day when I saw you and Chandler, I realized I didn't actually love Barry. But I am happy that I left him at the right time."

Monica felt terrible inside, the little act Chandler and she put up managed to upset Kathy, drove Richard away and then, triggered Rachel to run away from her own wedding.

"My parents will be furious- Oh, Mon! What am I going to do!" She hugged Monica for comfort, "I knew I was a bitch to you after high school, and I am really sorry for that! And I know only you here- you won't kick me away, will you?" She seemed terrified.

"Sweetie, no!" Monica smiled at her former best friend, when Ross handed her a cup of coffee. He coughed, conveying a sign towards Monica to introduce him to her.

"You remember Ross, right?" Monica said.

"Oh, yes! You had a huge crush on me, right?" Rachel gleefully asked. His smile drained and he returned to Phoebe and Joey, completely embarrassed.

"Honey, enough about me. Where's Chandler?"

"Probably upstairs." Monica replied with a stern voice.

"You had a tiff?" Rachel smiled, "You guys are so cute!"

Monica let out a huge sigh. She was enraged, for sure, but she crossed the limits. He only knew her for a month, and they had become great friends. He wouldn't know what she went through with, he was just trying to pay her back for what she did for him in front of Kathy. She never should have hit him. It was not a Monica-like thing to do. She had to apologize.

"I'll let him know you have arrived." She smiled, and headed out.

Seeing Monica head out, Ross, Phoebe and Joey went near Rachel, to strike a conversation.

"Hey guys, I know I have just arrived, but I can't wait to meet them." Rachel asked gleefully, "Where are those bundles of joy?"

"Who?" Ross asked.

"You know, Phoebe and Joseph?" She smiled innocently. She knew Monica would make a great mother, and was eager to meet her children.

Phoebe's eyes got big, and she sat beside her, "Wow, aren't you quite the psychic one?"

Joey grinned to Ross, "You hear that? We are bundles of joy. And you are not."

"What?" Rachel asked, being puzzled.

"I sense great powers," Phoebe smelled around Rachel, "You knew our names the moment you stepped in. Just wow."

Rachel's eyes would almost pop out, "You are Phoebe?" She nodded, Rachel looked at Joey, "And you are- Oh my god, Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives!"

Joey grinned, "How you-" he stopped remembering Ross, "Not doin'?"

"Huh," Rachel tilted her head, "Phoebe and Joey. What are the odds?"

* * *

Monica pushed the door of apartment 19, knowing that it would remain unlocked. She created enough sound for Chandler to hear, who was watching 'Baby Looney Tunes' now. She tried her best not to laugh out, but Chandler sensed her, and pressed the remote button to turn 'Stevie', the TV off.

Chandler was lying down, so she pushed his legs out and made herself a place to sit.

"Chandler?" She stare at the blank screen when he sat up.

"Hmm." He reluctantly replied, his voice stating that he was upset with her.

"I am really sorry for what happened there." She took his hands and squeezed them, "Please forgive me? Please?"

He gently pulled out his hands, "You are too strong. You almost broke my teeth," he snorted, "And this certain episode deals with a child's first experience of losing tooth, so-"

Monica laughed and placed a kiss on his cheek, "I won't tell them you watch a toddlers' show if you forgive me."

"Mon, I am sorry." He sighed, "I didn't know you wanted to be back with him. It's just that, when you told me about him, he just seemed like an asshole."

"He was, back then. Possibly the world's shortest engagement ever."

"And you were in pain, and you started crying- I didn't want that."

Monica smiled, as he continued, "You're a great person, Mon. You really deserve everything you want."

"It's okay, I get your point." She snuggled closer, "Whatever happens, happens for good."

"It just seemed so out of the blue, if he wanted you back. Like where was he the whole time? What if his feelings washed away just like it returned?" He stopped to breathe, and then asked a serious question, "Mon, do you want to get back with him?"

She stared straight into his eyes. Did she, now? Chandler made sense. Did he really think all these up by observing Richard and her for three seconds? He did care about her. A bit more than others, probably.

"Because if you want to, I can clear things up." He broke the silence.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah!" He sounded confident, "I'll hunt him down. I'll sing in front of his house." Chandler closed his eyes and placed his hands as if he were playing guitar, "Baby, I am preying on you, tonight! Hunt you down, eat you alive!"

Monica burst out laughing, this man could crack her up.

"Nah, lets leave that idea. Phoebe would pound me if I touched her guitar, let alone borrowing it. Secondly, 'Baby' isn't how I picture Richard, and lastly, with my 'serene' voice, the neighbors would shoot me. You don't want me dead, do you?"

"No! Who'd irritate Ross then?" Monica laughed, but stopped to notice Chandler's cheek, he had an imprint of four fingers. How hard did she hit him?

"I'm so sorry again, Chandler! I wasn't thinking straight- and God knows what happened to me. Is it hurting? Do you need ice?"

Chandler put an arm around her and said, "I'm a strong boy, mommy."

Monica buried her face into Chandler's chest, to hide her tears for hurting a person who cared for her so much. She felt him caressing her back tenderly.

"You know, when you slapped me, I had seen my life flash." He said.

"Come on," She smiled, her eyes puffy red, as she looked at the most caring person, "I didn't hit you that hard that you thought you were dying."

"Na, not like that." He had a worried look on his face as Monica wrapped her arms around him, "Like a fast forward to future."

"And what did you see? You achieving Nobel prize?"

"I saw myself dying alone."

There was some weird effect the five words drew. The atmosphere suddenly became grave, as Monica whispered, "Why is that?"

He sighed, still embracing Monica, "I lead a crappy life. No parental guidance, no job I love, no woman to shut me up when I make stupid jokes- that's pretty much the deal."

"And what about your friends? What about me?"

"Well, I have you though."

"And I can shut you up when you are being hilarious." She smiled.

Chandler seemed uncomfortable, "Uh, Mon? I meant that in a different way. Total different way-"

"Maybe I don't want to know-"

And that's when Chandler switched off his brain, and pulled her towards him, pressing his lips on hers. Monica immediately responded, sliding her hands into his hair, quite disheveling them. And just like that night, the kiss turned passionate.

It felt so right to both of them.

 _Knock knock._

 _Who's there?_

 _I'm Nailing._

 _I'm Nailing who?_

 _I'm Nailing Monica._

 _Nice catch, Bing. You, are not a doctor, or a billionaire._

 _She deserves better than you._

Chandler's eyes opened as he realized it, and he pulled away.

"What?" She said in a low voice, as if she had woken up from a deep slumber.

"We can't do this."

"Why?" She asked, Chandler looked away to not kiss her again.

The door opened, and there were two angry faces out there.

"Mon!" Rachel yelled, "Explanation. Now."

 _What explanation?_ Monica seemed puzzled, and why was Ross angry? She looked at Chandler, who looked equally confused yet relieved that he did not have to answer her question.

"Rachel! What a nice surprise!" Chandler stood up and smiled and shot 'What-is-she-doing-here' look at Monica.

"Phoebe and Joey Geller-Bing?" Rachel approached Monica, "Seriously?"

"Well, they are sort of my kids." Monica grinned, her little secret was out.

"And you told her you were married?" Ross outburst, "TO CHANDLER?"

"Ross, hello? Chandler is right here?" He rolled his eyes.

Monica seemed fascinated, "Why, Ross? What's wrong with Chandler?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with Chandler?" Chandler asked him, hoping to find the answer from Ross why he shouldn't approach Monica.

"Because he's Chandler!" Ross said, frustrated to not find anything on the moment.

"That sums up everything." Chandler remarked.

"Why were you married the first place?" Rachel demanded to know.

"Fine," Monica sighed, "I was jealous, okay? That you, who insulted me everyday at the end of high school, was leading a better life. The first thing you showed me was your ring. And I was a boyfriendless woman, nowhere near you." She paused, "And then I dragged Chandler into this, and just went with it."

Rachel yelled, "But I set you as an example! I ran away from my marriage thinking that Barry didn't love me as Chandler loved you."

 _Love?_ Chandler swallowed. _Heavy, heavy, word._

Ross went near Chandler, patted on his back and whispered, "Thanks, man!" Chandler raised his brow.

"So what? It's a good thing you realized! Our little lie saved you from a bitter marriage!" Monica gasped, "Unless, you are deciding to go back to Barry!

Ross' eyes grew bigger and he whispered to Chandler, "Please marry my sister now."

 _Marriage? Heavier word._

"What? Do you have a crush on her?" Chandler whispered as the girls continued their conversation.

"Since 9th grade."

The two men watched as the girls hugged each other, and Monica told them, "Rachel would be staying with me."

Ross grinned so heard which reminded Chandler of Cheshire cat, but obviously he didn't say it out loud to get criticized. He was being so obvious.

"Where's our children?" Monica laughed.

"Still at coffeehouse, waiting for us." Rachel laughed with her.

"Lets head for another round of coffee, honouring Rach." Ross said, "I can call you Rach?"

"Okay." She nodded, and they headed out.

Monica and Chandler stood there alone for awhile.

"We are not done talking." Monica said.

 _Dear God._ Chandler gasped. _Long day ahead._

 **A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing! This kid smiles everytime you review!**

 **I personally still watch cartoons. I am not embarrassed to state this, ha ha. And Monica would not hurt anyone, I know. But she was very much pissed.**


	6. Chapter 6

**The One With The Conversation**

"We are not done talking." Monica said.

 _Dear god._ Chandler gasped. _Long day ahead._

"Could you stop being 'Chandler' for a while, and tell me what was that?" Monica asked quite angrily.

"Quick question, what does being Chandler mean anyway? Ross mentioned it earlier-" He saw Monica glaring, "Okay, you don't want to answer that."

Monica opened her mouth to say something, but the door opened again, revealing a panting Phoebe.

"There are some guys doing it in a car in front of the coffee shop- you must come."

"Some people call it a sick mentality, Pheebs." Chandler looked at Monica,, who again, was interrupted, "But if they do it in public, who are we to judge ourselves!"

He grinned. Phoebe moved from the door to give him space to leave and followed. Monica sighed and followed them downstairs. Joey, Rachel and Ross seemed to move to a place near the window, eagerly watching a car.

"That's round two!" Joey enthusiastically said.

Monica, Chandler and Phoebe joined them. Monica stated, "This reminds me of a particular scene."

"Of what?" Rachel asked.

"A guy lives in the building across the street. Ross, Joey and I, sometimes watch him... Roaming around."

"So?" Chandler asked.

"He stays naked all the time!" Joey said, "And round two ended. Do you think that's it?"

"You stalk a naked guy?" Chandler asked Monica, "You never stalked me."

"Do you roam around naked?" Monica shrugged, while the others turned to them with interest, "Even if you do, that sight would be unbearable. Ugh."

"Cut it out." Ross rebuked them, "Rachel's completely in a new verge of her life and all you two have been doing is fighting each other from morning."

"Sorry, Rachel." They both said in unison.

"You and I are not done yet." Monica whispered into Chandler's ear.

Joey looked around and suddenly his eyes lit.

"I'm going to grab a treat." He announced and walked away.

"That means he is going to ask someone out." Phoebe explained to Rachel, who nodded her head, understanding. Joey returned soon enough, patted on Chandler's shoulder and winked, "You and I got a double date tonight."

"What?" Ross outburst and pointed to himself, "I just got divorced, and you pick him?"

"We know how often he scores!" Joey explained, to which Ross nodded reluctantly. Chandler just sighed, "Okay." _Anything to avoid Mon._

"A blind date.. Huh." Monica's resentment was clear in her voice, so Phoebe asked, "Are you against them?"

"No, not against anything." Monica said, "I was thinking of doing some damage control with the Richard thing."

"Who's Richard?" Rachel asked, sensing gossip.

"Weren't you supposed to make a phone call?" Monica asked, "Lets head up."

While heading up, Richard's face flashed in her mind for a second. Maybe Richard was why Chandler didn't agree to continue- whatever it was. He was after all, her best friend, and obviously a quick thinker. They were just carried away by their distorted emotions, but she could swear the two times he kissed her, time froze.

Did that happen with Richard? Probably.

But Chandler disapproved of Richard- listing up the reasons why she shouldn't patch things up with Richard. Why was he so weird?

Entering her apartment, Joey and Phoebe sat on the couch, watching a new soap opera, Ross was with Rachel, helping her to dial the phone number even though she was declining his help. Chandler was helping himself with beer out of Monica's fridge. She decided to have the conversation right then.

"So, you are going out with your mystery date tonight then?" Monica asked, her voice being lower than usual.

"I guess so." He nervously said, "And you.. Are going to be with Dr. Big Tree?"

"Yes. I should give him a chance. I think?" She ended that sentence with a question, because she herself wasn't sure of the situation. _I should stop being spontaneuous._

"Well, that's terrific, Mon. He deserves you."

Monica's eyes turn bigger, "Is that the reason?"

"What?" Chandler couldn't catch her.

"Do you feel inferior?" She asked him, "Do you think I am out of your league?"

"You _**are**_ out of my league, Monica." He laughed.

"That's one stupid reason, but you make it sound legit."

"I am no doctor, Monica. I'm an average _Chandler._ " He smiled, "That's why you should be with him. You loved him once, right?"

"But you told me then-"

"I didn't exactly say 'no', I wanted to sing 'Animals'."

"Chandler, you are my best friend. Do you think I should try this thing with Richard again?"

Chandler nodded his head. Monica smiled and said, "Good luck."

* * *

Chandler and Joey arrived at the top notch restaurant. Joey's date, an attractive woman, waved right at them.

"This is my friend, Chandler." Joey introduced Chandler to his date, while the lady smiled, "Pleasure. I'm afraid, my friend will be a little late. Could we wait for a while?"

Joey's smile disappeared as he heard about the dinner being a little late. They were seated, and making small talks to pass the time.

She received a text, and smiled. "She's just reached." And she lifted her face, "There she is. Janice, hey!"

 _Oh, so my date is named Janice. Wait, what!_

Chandler turned around. There she was. His recurring nightmares.

Of all the women, it had to be Janice. Of all the Janices, it had to be his ex. _What is this? The ex encounter month?_

"Joey, that's my ex!" He whispered.

"Great!" Joey's impatience expressed itself, "We can order now!"

"CHAAAANDLER BIIIING!" Janice's face lit up, "We meet again."

He forwarded his hand for a nervous handshake and sat down as quickly as possible.

"You two know each other?" Joey's date asked.

"Yes." Then she started her nasal laugh, "He was in love with me."

 _So not true. Dumb era, dumb era, dumb era. It was during my stupid phase!_

"Cool! Joey and I will leave you two alone then. We are going to get another table."

"Yes, far, man. Far." Joey said.

Ofcourse, they could not stand Janice's laughter. But the question remained, how long could he?

"I knew it!" Chandler almost jumped due to her loud voice as she said, "I told you destiny would bring us together!"

"I don't remember you saying that," Chandler said, "Although, you might have said that."

The waiter served them wine. Janice raised a toast, "To us!"

Chandler sighed, "Dear God."

* * *

Monica hesitated to knock. After their breakup she never wanted to return to this apartment, and then there she was, in front of Richard's apartment, without even informing him that she had plans of visiting.

As cliché as it was, someone opened the door right when she was about to knock. The door slammed on her face, especially on her nose.

"Ouch!" Monica covered her nose.

"Monica?" Richard was startled, "What are you doing here?"

"Hi," Monica was sure her nose broke, but she managed to talk, "I thought-"

She stopped. A woman was behind Richard. He understood she was staring, so he said, "Mon, this is my ex wife Barbara."

"Are you okay? Wait here, I will bring you ice." Barbara left.

Richard asked her, "Why are you here, Monica?"

"I-I wanted to..." Monica lied, "Meet you to get an appointment for my eyes. So you and Barbara?"

"Barbara and I are back," He smiled, "So far, it's been great."

"Here you go." Barbara gave Monica an icebag, "Your nose is bleeding."

"Sorry, Monica." Richard apologised.

She wasn't sure for which reason. Was it for crushing her heart into pieces for the second time? Or for breaking her nose? Or for admitting being with Barbara was better?

She was not thinking straight anymore.

* * *

 _Lousy, lousy date._

 _Chandler, never ever, sign up for a blind date. If you do, make sure it's not your ex._

Chandler whistled as he climbed the stairs, remembering the past half an hour as his ears buzzed, due to the high decibel of nasal laughter.

 _ **(Flashback)**_

 _ **Janice eagerly said, "This date has been going so well.. why don't we head to your apartment, Bing-a-ling?"**_

 _ **Chandler laughed nervously, "Yay to that, but nay- my roomie, is on a date."**_

 _ **"Isn't Joey your roomie?"**_

 _ **"Oh, no, this is my other roomie," He thought quickly, "Mon."**_

 _ **"Where do you live?" Janice asked.**_

 _ **Chandler quickly told her the address of his previous apartment.**_

 _ **When they got up, Janice whispered, "You know, you and I are meant to be."**_

 _ **(End of flashback.)**_

 _It is so not meant to be._

He stopped near his apartment and searched for the keys in his pocket. To his horror, he found out that he didn't have them. He tried to call Joey, but he didn't receive. He stared at Monica's door.

Monica was lying on the couch when she heard someone enter. She quickly wiped her tears and sat up to see a seemingly dusturbed Chandler.

"Mon, do you have any spare keys? The apartment's locked and I feel like Santa who cannot enter through a chimney."

"I-I don't." She tried to make her voice sound normal, "Stay here till Joey arrives."

"Gosh, Mon!" Chandler rushed forward and pulled her into a hug, "What did Richard do this time?"

Monica sank in, "Well, he got back with his ex."

"And what happened to your nose?"

"That bastard accidentally sorta broke it."

Chandler suddenly started laughing, even though he was sure Monica would punch him for laughing at her, but Monica somehow found the humor and joined him.

"Do you have anything to drink?" Chandler asked, going straight to the freezer and bringing out a lot of alcohol. "Look at them."

"Post Richard thingy." She started to drink, "Enjoyed your date?"

"Joey set me up with Janice." Chandler joined her.

"Ooh, the nasal one." Monica laughed, "Can you hear me?"

"No, I cannot hear you, Mon." Chandler said, "Where's Rachel?"

"Asleep." Monica sighed, "Funny how my ex dumped me and you dumped yours."

"She asked me where I lived. I told her my previous address."

"My lungs will burst!" Monica laughed, wondering how Rachel had not woken up yet by their laughters. And how she forgot to laugh before Chandler.

"You know what she said?" Chandler said, "That she and I were meant to be together."

Monica said, "What?" She started to slur, "No no no no no."

"Five no-s, you should stop now." Chandler sounded concerned.

"I think, I think," She raised her hands, "You and I should try-"

"Not this again, Mon." Chandler shook his head.

"Calling Joey." Monica completed, and then laughed, "Oh, you thought I was going to say-"

"You are drunk." Chandler remarked.

"Feels goooood.. join me!" She grinned, "To Janice and you!"

"May that never happen." Chandler smiled and drank.

Soon he started grinning like Monica.

"Hey Monny."

"Yes, Channy."

"Joe's not coming, is he?"

"Nuuuupe."

"Lets play dare."

"I dare you to..." Monica paused, "Kiss me without hurting my nose."

"Noooo." Chandler shook his head violently.

"Pawk pawk. Chicken."

"Noooo."

He pulled Monica's face and kissed her lightly.

"That was not 100%." Monica pulled him and kissed him with passion, "This is 100%."

"I didn't quite get that." Chandler kissed her again, "Is this 100%?"

And before they could even sense it, they moved their next dare to Monica's bedroom.

* * *

 **A/N: Ah, long time no see. Missed everyone, literally. I had been sneaking around though, reading and reviewing fics. (Do not forgive me. I had been extremely lazy and I am dropping an excuse) Sorry to keep you waiting, I had college admission thingies going around.**

 **Thanks for reading! Hopefully, will update this month and will torture you with this story with only one or two chapters more.**

 **Thank you again!**


End file.
